Thursday, July 30, 2009

Do you ever have one of those days??

When you just do not feel like doing anything? I feel bad when I have those days now that I am home full time. There is so much to do, and most of it you HAVE to do... but, for all of those things that I technically can get away with not doing for a day, I just do not want to do them.

I am having one of those days today. I feel burned out, tired and not interested in cleaning the whole house before we leave for the cabin tomorrow morning. I feel like we are always off somewhere for the weekend, or we have a million places and party's to be at. I guess that I am lucky that I have somewhere to go, but sometimes I just need a lazy day at home where I do not get the guilt's that I am not running around the whole house cleaning.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Bully at the Park

So I had my first experience yesterday at the park where Landon was somewhat bullied. I always knew there would be a day that Landon would have to deal with kids being mean to him, but I did not know that it would be when he was 3.5 years old. Landon is very comfortable around older kids, being he always plays with his aunts and uncles who are very close in age to him. He definitely prefers to play with older children.

There was a group of 8-9 year old at the park and they were playing Indiana Jones, which Landon loves and he wanted to get in on the action. So, he was kind of following them around trying to play and the older boy turns to him and said "go away kid!" I did not say anything, as I believe that kids need to learn to handle these situations on their own. Well, Landon only being 3 years old did not understand... so, he still followed them around trying to play. Then the boy yells at him and says, "GET OUT OF HERE KID, WE DO NOT WANT YOU HERE AND YOU ARE NOT PLAYING WITH US, NOW GO AWAY!" Landon's face fell and my heart sank.

There is nothing that can prepare you for witnessing rejection of your child, boy does it hurt. I got up and walked over to Landon as the boy started to shake in his pants, and I told him that I do not want him playing with mean boys and that he was too good to play with boys that hurt other peoples feelings. A glow of confidence ran through Landon as the biggest smile beamed over his face.

I do not know if I handled the situation right. All I know is, I want my kids to be aware of other children's feelings and hopefully he will remember how it feels to have someone treat him badly. I also want him to grow up confident enough not to let mean kids get him down... I feel like this is just the beginning in a new chapter of parenthood...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Not afraid to get older

My 28th birthday is coming up on Friday. I was thinking how excited I am to have another birthday... just like when I was a little girl. It seems as though most people I know dread getting one year older, as if they want to hold on to their youth just a little longer. I do not want to go through my life fearing another year, what is the point? You are getting older every day whether you like it or not. In my opinion, there is nothing more alluring then to be around someone who is confident in themselves and their age. I hope I go through my life being proud of my age and all that I have accomplished and not obsess over a silly number...

My name is Jen and I am going to be 28 years old :) LOL

Whoops! Another kid in the bed...

Okay, so now Brock won't sleep through the night unless he is in our bed... he will literally scream until I lay him in his co-sleeper in our bed! Then, he will sleep until 8-8:30AM!!! We went through this with Landon. He slept in our bed from birth to... well, up until we had Brock. We had a whole month where both boys slept in their own beds and we were so happy to have our bed back! Now, there are times where Landon wanders to our bed in the middle of the night and there are FOUR of us in one queen bed.

We do not mind for the most part, but sometimes I just want to have my own time and watch T.V. or read a book in my room and it is taken over by a sleeping baby. I told myself when we moved Brock to his crib when he was 3 months old that he was not ever coming back to our room. I was not going to go through this again... guess what? We are going to go through this again!

The truth is, I will sacrifice my bed for a sleeping child and that is why we have a "child in our bed" problem.

Leaving the boys... for the weekend!

I am going to go up north for the weekend with my mother-in-law, two sister-in-laws and Brady's two aunts! I am very excited to get away... no diapers, no bottles, no tantrums, no preparing 6 meals a day and maybe a good night sleep! On the other hand, I will miss all of those things, I need all of those things... I think I have let myself get to the point where I am totally absorbed in my boy's lives. I mean, that is normal when you are with them 24/7 right? I do not feel like I am losing myself or anything, but I should be able to get away for a couple of days without anxiety or guilt. When I worked full time, I was at least used to being away from Landon for most of the day and could handle over nights... I have never left Brock for more than an hour. I know they will be fine with Brady, but Brady does not have much "experience" with Brock. I take care of him 99.9% of the time.

I know this will be good for me... it will be good for Brady. It might be better than I think. Maybe they won't even miss me. Maybe I should be thankful for having this opportunity to get away, there are a lot of stay at home mom's that pray to even have an hour of peace and quiet.

Maybe I just need to get out more often!! Hehehe

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mom was right, this isn't easy!

We decided that I would become a stay at home mom before I was even pregnant with Brock. I had enough of dropping Landon off at daycare and feeling like I was missing out on his life. I was determined to be home with my children, to raise them with our morals and rules and to be able to witness their discoveries everyday. I knew it would be a lot work, but I did not realize how tiring and stressful it would be... there are no lunch breaks or casual conversations at the coping machine when you are home... it is feeding children, changing diapers, cleaning the house, cooking, dealing with tantrums and crying and you know what? There are NO breaks! You are having a good day "if" both children happen to take a nap at the same time and then you have to decide if I should clean or take that long awaited nap...

My mom stayed home with my sister and I when we were little and I know that she loved it. When I told her I wanted to stay at home, she warned me that it was a lot of work and people do not understand or respect moms at home. She told me about how people were rude towards her when they found out that she was a home-maker. I did not get it, I did not understand... now I do. People perceive woman who stay at home to be lazy and are not career minded. They think their days are full of luncheons, shopping and play-dates. Yes, there are days I go out to lunch, but it is at the local McDonald's. Yes, I do go shopping, for our groceries. Yes, I have gone a a couple play-dates, but it is really difficult to schedule anything when you have a 3 year old and an infant with feeding and nap times. Since I have worked in an office with deadlines and horrible managers, I can positively say, being at home is by far the hardest job I have ever had. I work 24/7.

Though it is the hardest job I have ever had, it is easily the BEST job too! I am truly the happiest I have ever been in my adult life and I am proud to take care of the kids and maintain the house during the day. The kids and I have already shared many wonderful memories together and have been to so many fun places. These are years I will never get back and I am glad that I made the choice to be there for my children everyday, all day! Though it can be wearing at times, I love my new "career!"

My New Blog!!

I finally have my own blog!! We still have our family blog, but I wanted a place that I can share what my day to day life is like as a stay at home mom. I am hoping to be able to look back one day at this and use it as some sort of journal of what I did at home with the boys.

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